Educational pamphlet on how to fight off boredom!

There comes a time when you have absolutely no idea what to do. You consider reaching for your phone to announce your boredom to your nearest and dearest or change your facebook status to reflect your ailment. But why do this? With my handy advice you'll never be bored again. Here are a selection of my favourite distractions.

• Start a blog/ add to existing blog - A new one in my list of distractions. Create a blog under the pretence your witty and your bound for stardom. Write controversial, libellous comments, face the consequences and then wish you hadn't started the damned thing. Its win win all round.


• Creative uses for mundane objects - ever find ironing boards boring? Why not get a football and play ironing board cricket. A guaranteed fun filled 15 minutes of destruction. Extra points for destroying plates.


• Get shitfaced - pretty self explanatory. Drink whatever you can find then spend the next day trying to remember what the fuck happened only to be told you weren't as sophisticated as you thought you were at the time.


• Build up your gamerscore - get that elusive 1000 points per game on all games you own allowing you to lord over others. Well when I say others I mean xbox gamers who quite frankly don't give a flying fuck that your sadder than them. But hey each to their own.


• Cheesey films - they know they're bad. What makes them good. Well its hard to say but it'll be the best 90 minutes of your life. Just don't expect a plausible plot, acting ability of any sort, professional camera work or in fact any brilliance in any of the categories at the Oscars.


• Feats of awesomeness - very hard tasks to pull off perfect but when done you are guaranteed a legend. What could this be? Well anything bizarre. Some ingredients for an idea of mine include an inflatable starfighter, a river and depending on the who's taking the pictures, clothes.


• Become a vigilante - not inspired by Dark Knight honest. But still theres a lot of scum on the streets that need getting rid of. Just be prepared to wear tights. Adam West is clearly the best batman.


• Go out your front door - a very hard task indeed for some but theres a whole wide world out there to be corrupted, I mean explored. From what i've learnt so far sunlight doesn't turn you to ash and theres these weird land creatures called cars that people seem to admire unhealthily. Just remember to don your chainmail and sword so that you can blend in with the 'daywalkers'.